The Beauty of Change
I have a very close friend named Scott. Scott is not your typical friend, though. He doesnít like going anywhere, probably wonít call you, doesnít give compliments very often, and is very stubborn and set in his own ways. Scott and I have been friends for about five years now. I have always known what to expect from him, and he from me. I have total unconditional love for Scott, something a lot of people donít understand, but it isnít a romantic love. The same is reciprocated from Scott. I donít know how this came about, but Scott and I have been through a lot together and I know that he will be a permanent part of my life until I die.
Recently, I started dating a man named Joel. I was unaware of the transformation I was going through, but apparently I was the only one that didnít notice. Even before anyone knew that I was dating, people noticed a change. The number of people who complimented my posture and never realized how tall I was really astounded me. But like so many things, the one most affected is the last one to know. I was unaware of how changed I was until today.
As I said, Scott isnít someone who expresses things very often and very rarely calls anyone. However, he has been going through a few things recently that has prompted him to call me a lot to talk. Being that I have been out with Joel a lot, I usually get his messages and then call back. This morning, I found that Scott had called again and talked to my mother a bit.
Scott expressed how happy he was for me, that he had known me for a long time and never knew me this happy before. He reassured my mother that he really liked Tom, that he and Tom went way back and they were good friends, but that he never could stand the way that Tom was with me. Even going on to say that it was a shame that Tom never truly appreciated me, everything I tried to do, etc.
I literally cried the entire way to work after I heard that. For a number of reasons. Because I never expected Scott to ever say anything like that, I hadnít realized how truly observant Scott is. Scott is the type of person that will ignore things because he wants to not get involved, but I hadnít considered how much he was absorbing. I also cried because I had truly begun to doubt myself. I thought that maybe I wasnít the type of person that I thought I had been Ö Scott proved me wrong, which is possibly the best thing that he could have done. I felt quite redeemed, that the last of the restraints had been taken off of me Ö it proved that I wasnít delusional! Everyone noticed what Tom alone should have known.
I donít want you to walk away thinking that I am Tom bashing here. I am not. Tom and I were together for just short of six years. There was obviously not just a huge pile of crap that we were swimming in. We, just like everyone else, had our good times and our bad times. Due to our very differing personalities, our less than good times outnumbered our great times, but I tried to justify it by handing out excuse after excuse for his attitude. Tom is a very unique individual who has a lot to offer, I just didnít need what he was offering, and what I did need he had in short supply. One day, I hope Tom finds someone that compliments him and his personality. I can predict nothing short of miracles for him when he is finally truly happy.
ďSome people travel all the way to Tibet to climb a mountain at 2:30 in the morning to watch an orchid bloom. I am watching you bloom in front of my eyes, Iím just glad that I can take credit for a little of your glow. I know that you are responsible for a lot of my glow, and I just hope to have you shine on me for a very long time.Ē Ė Joel Oppenheimer